Loss
by amiigochat
Summary: end of the war..but it seems that it's the end for Allen too?..
1. Chapter 1

The picture of Allen with all his strength thrusting his sword unto the Millennium Earl, with a bright flash that nearly blinded them all, kept on rewinding in Lenalee's mind. That was the end of the battle. All of them exhausted, in the brink of death, managed to smile at each other dearly. Crowley, Miranda, Lavi, Bookman, Marie, Tiedoll and the others, including Kanda, gave a satisfied look on the turn of the event. But as they searched the gruesome battlefield for Allen who ended it all, they felt a sudden feeling of worry and pain, as they desperately looked in every inch of the place. But, he was nowhere to be found. With the blast of light, he disappeared with the Millennium Earl. They bowed their heads and tears fell for their lost comrade.

Back at HQ, everyone was glad to find the exorcists alive and held a party. Balloons decorated that came with different colors flooded the hall, food overflowed, drinks everywhere, a huge party. But no laughter was heard throughout the party. Everyone silently went along the party, with hidden emotions of grief, trying to smile with everyone, trying to have fun. For the people at HQ, that was the quietest party they ever had.

Two days later, finders sent to look for Allen returned. But all they found was a piece of Allen's black coat with the button bearing his name. The cloth was tattered, barely recognizable, it looks like it's going to crumble to dust without handling it properly. They never gave up on finding him, but they knew they can never ignore the sad possibility that he is really gone, forever.

They placed the cloth in a glass cube-like container, decorated with gold, with Allen's photo inside and placed it in the place where they held the coffins of their dead friends. Everyone was present when they held the ceremony. It was time to bid goodbye. Timcanpy sulked in Lenalee's arms while tears streamed in the girl's face. If there was someone who can't take the situation, it was Lenalee. She can't bear to lose someone. Someone like Allen who had been one of her closest friends. She didn't know what's better, war ended losing Allen or fighting the war alongside with him. She didn't know. She's blank.

A year has passed and the HQ kept the balance of the world by monitoring the innocences' weird phenomenon. Lenalee haven't changed a bit at heart. On the outside, she looked like she was fine. Smiling at everyone, giving coffee, eating with her friends, kicking Komui's face when he acted weird again. But in the darkness in her room, every night, the true feelings she kept flows freely,tears fall as she remembers that dreadful event that grabbed Allen away from their grasps. She misses him so much. She misses his weird left hand, cursed left eye, stupidly beautiful smile, she just miss him. Since that event, she never really got out of the HQ that much. She refused missions, but it was fine with them, they knew exactly how she feels.

But a year has already passed! Lavi is a bit matured now, not complaining much when studying with Bookman. Crowley is not that ignorant anymore and Miranda never gets lost wherever she goes again. Everybody changed, well, maybe except Kanda who never changed his personality and constantly gets a fight with Lavi every time they get close to each other.

Lenalee looked at the mirror, inspected herself with her coat and boots on. Slowly examining every inch of her body. She's nervous. This is her first mission after a year. She knew she had to move on.

"Good morning Lenalee!" Komui said wrapping his hand around Lenalee.

"Nii-san!" she blurted out while trying to yank her brother off her.

"Alright Lenalee. I was just happy that you finally agreed to go to a mission. It's been a while. I miss the feeling of welcoming you home." her brother said while smiling at her. The thought struck her in the heart. She managed to smile.

"You'll be going with Lavi and Miranda, but they're still on their missions so you get there first and investigate then they'll just meet up with you. Okay Lenalee?"

"It'll be fine. I'm going nii-san." She ran out of Komui's office. She hates to leave her brother's side and the longer she stays there to say goodbye, the more she gets the feeling of not wanting to go.

When she got out of the train, a finder ran to her side to fetch her. This strange phenomena is that whenever an exorcist or anybody carrying it comes to this place, the innocence seems to find something, going uncontrollable but not hurting anyone. She felt it the moment she went inside the city. It was a beautiful day and walking in the streets of a lovely city makes it more beautiful. Timcanpy got out of her bag as they walked. Then, he stayed on Lenalee's head, the way he did with Allen.

"Oh Tim, you wanted to see this place too?" Lenalee reached up and carried Tim in her arms like a baby.

Lenalee looked around to investigate. Nothing seemed different. They separated ways with the finder to make the investigation brief. She walked around then passed a wonderful bridged and stopped at the center for a while to look at the clear water below.

"Wow. It was really worth it to go here Tim, rather than staying in headquarters all the time. I missed this kind of view."

Then, her Black Boots activated.

"Huh? Is this the phenomenon happening here? Oop—s"

There she went flying at high speed, unable to control her innocence as it drags her trying to go somewhere she doesn't know. Finally, it stopped. She sat down below a tree for shade._'That was weird_' she said to her self. When she looked around, she found herself in a garden of a huge mansion, so beautiful she thinks she doesn't fit there, with her exorcist coat to wear. She tried to walk and search for an exit when she noticed someone seated in one of the mansion's balcony. She continued to walk. She looked again but she couldn't figure out how the person looks like. She finally stopped out of curiosity and focused her eyes on the figure.

'_A man, more of a teen-ager. I think he's painting something in that canvas. I think he's the son of the owner of this huge place. Acts like a rich-kid alright. Wait.._' she looked closer and to her surprise, the only thing that came out of her mouth was...

"His hair is white, just like Allen's..."


	2. confusion

Thanks for the review guys! And sorry it took a long time to add this one up..

Her heart pounded so hard she felt it's going to burst out of her. She kept on staring on the white-haired guy sitting in the balcony busying himself with a paintbrush and a canvas.

_How many people,exactly, in the world has ash-white hair just like Allen?_ She thought.

Without her noticing, Timcanpy flew toward the balcony in which her eyes are focused at the moment.

"Tim!" she called out, but the golden ball with wings never bothered to stop.

She ran towards the mansion, and stopped just below the balcony. She can't leave Tim here, he's Allen's precious golem! She finds herself responsible for Tim now, she cares for him just like how Allen cared for him.

"Timcanpy! Tim! Please come back. Let's go before anyone sees you!" Lenalee called, trying her best not to be noticed by the man in the balcony, trying to restrain her voice to mere whisper that only Tim can hear.

_Where's Tim now? I got to call him. I don't think the white-haired guy ever noticed, I think he's busy with his painting so much._

Somebody was behind her. Slowly, she turned her back to face the stranger. Her eyes widened.

"Timcanpy? So that's this little fellow's name." The white-haired guy from the balcony before was holding Tim in his hand, like a pet bird enjoying his master's company.

"Uhm, yes. He's my friend's. I take care of him now." Lenalee blurted out. She was in such a shock. There he was, smiling at her with Tim in his hands, just like Allen.

"Oh, I'm sorry. It has been rude of me not to introduce myself to you, my dear lady. I am Richard, the son of the owner of this house." He bowed at Lenalee.

_He's such a gentleman. Just like Him._

"I'm Lenalee. Nice to meet you Richard."

"Lenalee? What a wonderful name. I don't get to see you around here before. I guess you're a visitor. Am I right?" He smiled again, looking up at Tim that nested at his head. "He's very friendly."

"Oh, yes. We were on our way when we got lost and ended up here. He's a nice one but he's really nicer to you."

_I think Tim remembers Allen in him, the way I do too. But it's odd, his hair covers up most of his face. All I can see is his beautiful smile and his right eye. His hair is quite longer than Allen's._

"You are travelers? Would you mind if I invite you inside for some tea?"

"Oh, you really shouldn't bother. We have someone with us in town waiting for our return."

Unexpectedly, rain poured hard, with each drop falling nearly as fast as meteor, hitting everyone in the way.

"I think the sky don't allow you to leave just yet. I think we should seek shelter inside." He said, getting out from his coat and covering the both of them in the rain as they ran towards the door.

The inside of the mansion is more than twice as grand it is on the outside. Glistening floor, walls decorated with portraits, paintings, furnitures shined as they were carefully polished everyday. A man in a black suit ushered them in.

"Oh master! You're wet! You'll catch a cold." the man remarked, getting the wet coat from Richard's hands and led them further inside.

As both of them sat inside a room with a fireplace to keep them warm, the man arrived carrying towels and warm tea.

"Lenalee, this is John. He's our butler, who took care of me as far as I can remember."

"Nice to meet you madam. Please excuse me." He bowed and left.

Richard has been a nice person. He let Lenalee unto a room of herself to spend the night and asked a maid to give her something else to wear since she was dripping wet from head to toe. What she did not expect is that the maid turned her from a wet beggar-like girl unto a pretty princess-like girl,with a beautiful gown and well made hair. After that, the maid led her to the dining room for dinner.

"Ahh, there she is. Mother, father, this is Lenalee. She is my guest." Richard introduced while standing up to pull Lenalee's chair for her to sit.

"Oh my. What a beautiful lady you have as a guest my son. I never thought you would meet someone like her while you are just staying here at the mansion painting." His mother smiled and laughed at what she said while Lenalee blushed and Richard was startled by the remark.

"Your mother's right. You see Lenalee, this son of ours is a shy one. Never goes out of the mansion, just rarely. Our friends get surprised if he happens to appear at a party." His father chuckled. Richard sighed as he smiled at Lenalee, a shy look Allen usually gives her when embarrassed.

They were a nice family, so warm, so close to each other. As the dinner continued, Lenalee's unconsciously drifting to her thoughts as the family continued with their cheerful conversation. The dinner ended and everyone decided to have some rest and went to their rooms.

Lenalee looked far away from the balcony. The sky's dark with twinkling stars like glistening pearls laid in a black cloth. The air was soothing, not so warm and not so cold. The place is so peaceful, like this is the only place that the demons failed to sprung up. Now, the war is over, there's no demon she needs to worry about to ruin this wonderful place.

_He can't be Allen. Allen's gone, I have to accept that, even if it still hurts deep within me. I hope he is happy wherever he is. But their similarities bother me. Tim acted so strange toward him. The left side of his face is always blocked by his hair even though he ties it up in a pony tail. I wonder what he really looks like without the hair blocking my view. There will be no red streak there like Allen had because simply, he's not Allen. He had been happy all his life here in this mansion with his warm, caring family, painting at his balcony and never had to worry about souls imprisoned to be demons. He never have to train to keep in shape for battle. He never have to risk his life for anyone's sake._

Lenalee's eyes started to form tears. The loneliness she feels tears her up inside, now greater than the previous ones. At the time she thought she had moved on, how can this person show up and open the wound that took her a year to start healing?

"Uhm, Lenalee? Are you alright? I'm sorry if I entered your room, I was worried when I knocked and no one answered." Richard came closer to the balcony, with Lenalee's back facing him. He sensed that she had been thinking and was about to cry.

"Oh, Richard. Of course, I'm alright." Gently turned, carefully drying up her tears before facing him.

"This friend of yours Lenalee, who owns Timcanpy, where is he now?" He asked, so serious, staring at the stars with his right eye while his hair still covering the left side.

"He's gone." There's bitterness in her voice, and he can feel it.

"He must be really lucky to have friends like you." She can see his eyes full of emotions, sadness that she had once seen in the same silver-eyed Allen. She didn't find words to say and stayed looking at him for a long time.

"I never had friends my entire life Lenalee, except for the servants in this household, I never had any. Will you be my friend?" He broke the silence, smiling at her as he said those words.

"Yes." That was the only thing she can afford to say.

"Did you ever meet someone for the first time, then you feel like you have known them all your life? You know, like strangers appearing to your dreams, like your dreams were a whole different world with a different you in it? All my life I've been living in my dreams Lenalee, and I never thought that they would come true." He said while holding in front of Lenalee a portrait that has been well made.

"I made this one three months ago. But I've seen this person in my dreams as far as I can remember, and I never thought that person would be standing here in front of me." He said as he stared at Lenalee's eyes, like a friend who longed to see each other again.

Lenalee stared wide-eyed at the portrait.

_The portrait, it's as if I'm looking at my own reflection..._


End file.
